The Art of One-Upmanship
by TheLazyBlackCat
Summary: Mallory and Nosedive terrorize one another!
1. Counterattack

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the Mighty Ducks Animated Series franchise, if I did, I wouldn't be writing fanfic.

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><p><strong><em>Chapter 1:<em>**

_Counterattack_

Wildwing stopped at the end of the hall and turned back to look at the bunker doors lining the long hallway. He thought he heard someone scream, but that would be a difficult feat since all the bedrooms were built to be sound proof. He hadn't wanted to submit any of his then new teammates to his brother's ear shattering levels of music and video game binges. The tall drake stood motionless, straining to hear anything. When nothing was forthcoming, he shrugged, figuring he had just imagined it.

As he turned to leave once more, a muted crash and the sounds of thrashing reached him, followed by another muffled scream. He definitely hadn't imagined those.

Wildwing raced down the aisle trying to figure out which room the racket was coming from. His heart quickened to realize it was his brother's room. With a heightened sense of urgency, he entered the code to open the door and raced inside. "Nosedive?!"

The young duck in question was standing atop an ottoman, hacking a baseball bat hysterically at the sides of the piece of furniture he was standing on. He was cursing a long string of curses that their mother would have had his tail feathers had she heard her little duckling utter such words. The bookshelf that usually stood next to the sofa was on the floor, a small mountain of books, comics, and trinkets scatter in every direction.

"Nosedive! What's wrong, baby bro!?" the elder sibling made a grab for the baseball bat, yanking it out of his brother's hand. "Are you crazy?"

Nosedive leapt off the ottoman, making a mad dash for the door of his room and nearly knocked Tanya down in the process.

"W-w-what happened?" she fought to keep her balance, holding on to Nosedive worriedly.

"They're everywhere! They were in my boots!" Nosedive yelled at the top of his lungs.

"Who?" Wildwing looked around the room and located a pair of boots lying next to the toppled bookshelf. He looked back at his little brother, fearing that he'd finally lost his mind.

"THE SPIDERS!" Nosedive yelled.

"Spiders..?" Wildwing returned his attention to the boots. He carefully stepped around the fallen bookshelf and peered at the footwear in question, kicking it. Sure enough, a spider raced out making its way to the downed shelf. The white drake quickly reached down to catch the bug. While his brother seemed to be terrified of the insect, he found these earth creatures to be curious. He placed the spider in a cup, trapping it with a book before looking around for more. He'd take them outside and release them in the plotted plants of the south entrance of the arena.

"It's just a, um, you know, harmless s-s-spider," Tanya tried to sooth the young drake.

"Maintenance man Ryan said they're deadly poisonous!" Nosedive shot back.

Wildwing stopped dead in his tracks. Oh, crap. He'd forgotten about that. These tiny creatures were apparently venomous enough to kill a full grown human adult weighing more than he did. He didn't want to find out if their poison also worked on ducks.

"Those are the black ones with the red triangles on them," Tanya reminded. "These long legged ones, um, well, they don't do anything."

Wildwing let out a heavy breathe he wasn't aware he had been holding in. He shook his head clear and returned to capturing the spiders once again. If he didn't find them all, chances were that Nosedive would be bunking with him tonight. As much as he loved his little brother, he also loved the notion of sleeping.

"Though, I w-w-wonder why there're so many of them in, like, um, one place," Tanya ventured to pick up a shirt from the floor, shaking it out. She wasn't afraid of the small creatures, but she also wasn't as brave as her captain to just go and pick one up. "I thought they were solitaire cre-cre-, um, bugs."

"Mallory…" Nosedive barely whispered as a choir of angels sang in his head with sudden revelation.

"What?" Tanya tossed the shirt at the young drake rather confused.

"Oh, she's good," Nosedive caught the article of clothing and crumpled it up in his hands, looking over his shoulder to the hallway. "Two can play at this game."

"Weren't you the one who put worms in her boots a week ago?" Wildwing sat up, his brows furrowing. The redhead had made life rather difficult for both brothers afterward. Wildwing's leadership was tested as he tried to keep the peace between the two bickering teammates. "Besides, you don't know it was her." He looked around for more spiders. Satisfied that there were no more, he stood and walked over to his brother.

But the blond youth wasn't listening anymore. His gaze was distant as his mind plotted. She would regret the day she crossed him. Oh, he would make sure she regretted it.

"NOSEDIVE!" Wildwing raised his voice, getting his brother's attention. "Unless you want me to release these on your bed, you will not do anything to Mallory," the white drake held the clear cup full of spiders up to his brother. His brother's reaction was satisfying to say the least. He retreated back a few paces, slamming into the wall behind him and shaking his head feverously.

"Alright! Alright!" Nosedive relented. "Just get them out of here!"

Wildwing nodded. He knew his brother too well to know that he would actually keep that promise. It'd be a few days, a week at the most, before his little brother made a move. That was ample time to at least warn Mallory of the impending doom heading her way. He exited the room, Tanya close behind him, and paused. "And clean your room. It's a mess!" he threw his brother one last hard look before the door closed.

0-0-0

Mallory doubled over in laughter, almost falling out of her seat as Tanya reiterated that morning's events. She would have loved to have seen Nosedive's face when those spiders crawled out of his boots. And to imagine, he shrieked loud enough for two ducks to hear him through the sound proofing. Priceless.

"Kinnda harsh, ain't it, sweet'eart?" Duke's hand didn't slow in chopping vegetables. He'd seen something on TV and wanted to try his hand at making it himself.

"Harsh!?" she slapped an open palm on the countertop. "Don't think for a second that I've forgotten you helped him gather the worms."

"I mean, you ain't 'fraid of no worms," Duke cleared the cutting board's contents into a large bowl before reaching for another Italian squash. "Ain't Dive and Grin scar'd of spiders? It ain't fair dat y'd be gettin' even with somethin' he's 'fraid of. It's like stealing a puck from a ducklin'."

"So saids the criminal," Mallory brushed him off.

"Former," Duke pointed the knife in her direction. "I ain't stole a thing since the Invasion," he reminded as he returned to his task.

"Ya, ya," Mallory turned to Tanya excitedly again. "And then what?"

"Wildwing collected the spiders and we left," Tanya answered simply. "Oh! And Wildwing also said, to, um, you know, watch yourself. Nose-, um, Nosedive is gonna get back at you."

"Please," she waved the engineer off. "He couldn't possible do anything worse than what I've been through." She'd grown up with three older brothers and had faced everything they could throw at her. If they couldn't crack her, what could one younger sibling that wasn't even related to her do?

"Careful what ya wish fo', sweet'eart," Duke didn't even look up.

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><p>AN: I suppose I'm not good a long form writing and this is a prime example. I guess I'll just stick to short stories and be happy with what I can do. ENJOY!


	2. Where It Hurts the Most

**Disclaimer:** Standard disclaimer, I don't own Mighty Ducks Animated Series in any way and I only have about $5 to my name. So it's not really worth it to sue me...

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><p><strong><em>Chapter 2:<em>**  
><em>Where It Hurts the Most<em>

Mallory stopped at her locker before stepping into the secret elevator, picking up the neat stack of envelopes. Martha was a sweet young girl hired to go through the mail that arrived for them. She spent most days sorting fan mail, letters, and packages for the six ducks and Phil, as well as tossing the junk mail out. The end of her day typically consisted of visiting the locker room and leaving personal correspondences in each of their lockers.

She shuffled through the mail as the elevator descended. Bills, bills, more bills, credit card statements, magazine renewals, etc. The usual for the end of the month.

"Hey, Mal!" Nosedive raced past her with a cheesy smile on his bill as she stepped off. "Later, Mal!" the doors shut behind him before she had a chance to say anything.

Whatever. He was clearly in a hurry to get somewhere. The comic book store no doubt.

A smile graced her bill. Wildwing had warned her that he was going to retaliate for the spiders in his boots. But that had been nearly a month ago and nothing happened. She had waited patiently for the young drake to make his move, cautious and ever watchful. But surprisingly enough, all remained quiet on the front lines. If anything, Nosedive left her alone. He didn't try to annoy her, bother her with silly requests, or anything. He was even, dare she say it, being helpful. She was beginning to wonder what he was playing at.

She pushed those thoughts to the back of her mind as she entered her room. The redhead hummed to herself as she placed the mail on her desk and pulled out a checkbook. "Might as well get this out of the way," she muttered, taking a hold of a letter opener and taking a glance at her credit card statement.

Yikes! Had she really spent that much? She read down the list of purchases. A few high end boutiques in New York City. A sight-seeing tour for the group, again in New York. What looked like some fast food place. Over a hundred dollars on room service while in Toronto? That couldn't be right. She marked the charge. Clearly, someone must have screwed up somewhere. No matter how much she ate, she knew she couldn't rack up that much in a single sitting. She'd have to call the hotel and dispute the charge.

Continuing her review, she mentally checked off the next few charges from their stay in Detroit. Anne's Boutique, Shoe Heaven, and Tournaments Unlimited.

Mallory stared at the last one. Tournaments Unlimited? What the heck was that? Another suspicious charge caught her eye. Lectric Land for over three hundred dollars!? The only thing she had ever purchased from that place was her laptop. And that had been months ago! And what was this unholy charge from Antonio's Authentic Italian Pizzeria!? And there! Another large charge from Anaheim Downtown Theaters.

Where were these charges coming from!? Had her card been compromised?

Mallory made a mad dash for her bag, yanking her wallet out. No. Her cards where all there and accounted for. What the hell was going on!?

She returned to her statement and glared at it, hoping that something would jump out at her. Her eyes flew down the list of questionable charges once more. What was she missing? Hazel-green orbs settled on the authentic pizzeria charge. Antonio's Authentic pizzeria… Antonio's…. Wait a minute, Tony's Pizzeria? Wasn't that the place that-

"Nosedive!" she growled.

Mallory shot up to her feet fuming, the statement crumpled in one hand as she stormed towards the door. Wildwing couldn't simply overlook this infraction like he had with the worms. This wasn't just a childish prank and she expected the team captain to dole out some serious punishment for that little punk.

The redhead stopped short of the door. No. She gave herself a moment to breathe and take in the situation. She would deal with this herself. If there was anything that Brigadier General Rua McMallard had instilled in her little brood it was that they had to fight their own battles. If Nosedive refused to repay her for all those outlandish expenses, then she'd turn to the older sibling for assistance.

Mallory backtracked to her desk, pulling a light jacked off the back her seat before exiting her dormitory. Nosedive couldn't have gotten very far. And if she knew him half as well as she thought she did, she'd find him right across the street at Captain Comics.

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><p>AN: This is starting to look like another set of short stories. At least these ones have a core "story" that threads them together. I'm trying to think of a bigger story to write into this, but I'm having way too much fun trying to think of ways for the characters to "get even" with each other. Some real creative stuff is bound to come out of this!


	3. A Dish Best Served Cold

**Disclaimer: **I don't know what to write for these disclaimers anymore. I'm running out of niffy/creative ways of saying I don't own any part of the Mighty Ducks Animated Series.

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><p><strong><em>Chapter 3:<em>**  
><em>A Dish Best Served Cold<em>

Nosedive layered the tomatoes and cucumbers high on the sandwich. Some salt and vinegar, mayonnaise, mustard, and… what else could he add? He walked over to the refrigerator and peeked inside. Nothing in there caught his attention so he made a grab for a soda before returning to his sandwich.

"That's disgusting," Tanya put in with contempt. Why he had to add _everything_ in the pantry to the sandwich was beyond her.

"You're just jealous, girly-girl! Ya want me to make you one?" Nosedive popped the soda open, placing it on the countertop. Tanya stuck her tongue out in disgust while shaking her head and cringing, causing the younger blond to snicker. It was her lose. He took a moment to look at his masterful creation, mentally running through a list of things he could add to his afternoon meal before his face brightened up. "Something spicy!" he declared turning to the cupboard.

"You're gonna get yourself, like, real sick, or something, if you keep eating like that," Tanya warned.

"Yeah, yeah," he dismissed her warning as he reached for his two favorite red bottles of spicy sauce. Now, the question was, should he use the one with the dude with the sombrero or the one with the rooster encircled with the strange language?

"Why not just use both?" Tanya snorted sarcastically, seemingly reading his mind.

"Tanya! You're a genius!" Nosedive turned enthusiastically. He rushed over to his sandwich and nearly emptied the contents of both bottles on his food.

"Did your mother actually a-a-approve of you eating like that?" Tanya raised a brow. She'd seen other ducks eat like they've never seen food before, but nothing came close to the amount this blond could wolf down in a single sitting. Had she not known any better, she would have thought he was a starved orphan before the Invasion.

"After dealing with Wing, I think she was happy I'd eat anything she'd put in front of me," he supplied. Contrary to the other's beliefs, Wildwing kept to a strict diet solely because he was still a picky eater. Why his brother was so difficult when it came to food was beyond the younger sibling. How could anyone say "no" to food!? Food was wonderful! Oh, the glorious things his brother was missing out on!

Satisfied with his creation, Nosedive reached for the bolillo top. The little Mexican place that Thrash and Mookie had taken him to was delicious! He found that their little loafs of bread were the perfect size and shape for holding the large amounts of topping he stuffed into sandwiches, especially when one hollowed out the fluffy white part.

Tanya shook her head as Nosedive took a bit of his Frankenstein-ish sandwich. She figured that nothing short of a stomach ulcer would ever stop him from eating the way he did. She returned to her salad, her mind wandering to the project she had going in her lab. She had to go to Lectric Land to buy some parts and-

"H-H-HOOOTTT!" Nosedive suddenly put the half eaten sandwich down, fanning at his wide open beak. His clear eyes were beginning to water as he started to dance in place.

"You put two different types of hot sauces together. W-w-hat did you expect?" Tanya rebutted.

Nosedive shook his head. "Too hot!" he made a grab for the soda. Throwing his head back, he poured the drink down his throat. When he was done, he slammed the can on the countertop. He could feel his feathers beginning to fluff up as tears well up in his eyes. "Mah tongue ish on firah!" he continued to fan his gaping bill.

"Are you alright?" Tanya placed her fork down and began to worry.

Nosedive looked around the kitchen aimlessly before settling a worried gaze on the engineer. "Iz gettin' hot in here," his eyes were stinging. "Ah! Why iz it so hot!?" He was beginning to feel as if he had just ran a million laps around the Pond during the middle of summer. What was going on!?

Tanya raced to the fridge, pulling out a carton of milk. She hurriedly reached into a nearby cupboard, retrieving a cup and filling it with the milk. "H-h-here, drink it," she handed it over to the young drake.

"How's this-"

"Milk contains c-c-casein. Casein helps dissolves the capsaicin in-" she stopped herself as a worried, blank look crossed his features. "It'll take the, um, the spiciness a-a-away," she opted for the simplest answer she could give him.

Nosedive threw his head back, gulping the glass down in one go. He waited for what felt like forever before the stinging in his beak began to dull a little. He pushed the empty glass at Tanya once more, silently asking her for more. She complied to his unspoken request and he emptied the glass again.

"I-i-is it any, um, you know, better?" Tanya inquired.

"Kinnda…" he muttered miserably. He sat down on the floor of the kitchen, his back resting against the island cabinet. The burning sensation was fading way too slow and his mouth, throat, and stomach were in agony. Worse of all, he felt like he was burning up from the inside. The young blond unzipped his sweater, tossing it to the side and laid down on the floor. A warm smile spread across his bill. The iciness of the polished floor felt wonderful. Maybe he should go lay down on the ice in the rink above!

"Wha' happened here?" Duke came around the counter, a worried look on his face as he caught sight of the youngster on the floor.

Nosedive looked up, startled. He hadn't heard him walk in. "Spicy sauce," he muttered.

Duke gave Tanya a confused look. "The, um, genius here decided to mix two hot sauces and, you now, is now a-a-agonizing over his decision," she patted Nosedive's head, relieved that he was feeling a little better now.

Duke turned his attention to the countertop, taking notice of the half eaten sandwich and hot sauce bottles. "Ain't those Mallory's?" he questioned. "I saw 'er fillin' 'em back up da other day. I think there was anoth'r bottle too. Somethin' about a 'ghost pepp'r'."

"What's that?" Tanya gazed up only to receive a shrug from the older drake.

"That dirty, underhand, redheaded hen…" Nosedive barely whispered as he continued to clutch to his stomach. He forced himself to sit up before reaching over and taking the carton of milk from Tanya. He served himself another glass, taking small sips this time. "We had some at the Indian food place we went to with Grin some time ago. But it wasn't this hot. Then again, the waiter said it was just a small sample."

As horrible as he felt for the younger duck, Duke couldn't help but chuckle. "Ya two are still feudin'? Didn't Wildwing tell ya two to knock it off?"

Nosedive smiled wickedly. He had hoped not to get his brother involved with Mallory's credit card prank. Unfortunately for him, he had forgotten that as a "minor" he wasn't allowed full access into his bank account without his guardian's authorization. Needless to say, Wildwing was not at all a happy bird by the end of the whole ordeal.

"Seriously, kid. I think it's time ya let it go," Duke advised.

Nosedive shook his head. Taking another swig of the milk, his mind raced to think of a way of getting back at Mallory for this. This could have all ended with that stern talk from Wildwing about the credit card. But no, Mallory just had to have the last word. Well, if she wanted to keep playing this little game, then he'd be more than happy to continue to play along.

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><p>AN: ya, still tugging along...


	4. Tight Spot

**Disclaimer:** Standard disclaimer, I don't own Mighty Ducks Animated Series or any of the characters.

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><p><strong><em>Chapter 4:<em>**  
><em>Tight Spot<em>

Mallory hulled a box of clothes out of the car she had borrowed from Phil. She begrudgingly made her way into the thrift store, setting it down next to the register. She glared angrily, her patience dwindling with each passing second. Nothing was fitting her anymore and it frustrated her because she hadn't changed her regimen since the beginning of the season. She kicked the box.

"Don't think that's gonna help ya much, sweet'eart," Duke dropped another box next to the one she had brought in. He wasn't sure how, but he had been wrangled into accompanying her. She glared up at him and he simply smiled that mischievous grin of his. "Really scary there, sweet'eart," he teased.

"Oh! How delightful," an elderly woman's voice interrupted. The two ducks turned to be greeted by an old woman, probably the owner of the store, approaching the register. She bent down to open one of the boxes and pulled out a dress, a glint of joy in her worn eyes.

"Hi," Mallory began almost quietly. "I was told I could donate these here?"

"Oh yes!" the elderly woman spread the dress on the countertop, inspecting it. She hummed satisfied with the dress. It was finely made, no doubt a brand name. "These should sell quite nicely," she smiled up at the redhead.

Mallory returned the gesture. "Alright. Is there anything I have to do?"

"Oh no. Wait a minute, dearie," the woman began, a very worried look on her wrinkled face. She reached down into the box and pulled out a silk shirt, inspecting it thoroughly. After a moment, she folded both articles of clothing again and placed them back into the box. "I'm sorry, but, we can't take these," the old woman folded her hand on the counter.

"What? Why!? You just said you could!" Mallory felt Duke's hand come to rest on her shoulder, silently bidding her to keep her cool. She swatted it away angrily.

"These have all been tailored, darling. I'd have a very hard time selling them. They're very specifically tailored," The old woman informed. "I'm sorry."

"What?" Mallory crocked her head. "I haven't tailored any of these," she pulled out the dress, spreading it across the counter again.

"I don't think she'd know how," Duke teased, leaning onto the counter and winking at the old woman. Mallory tried stomp on his foot, but Duke was too quick for her. He shared his sly smile with the redhead before returning his attention to the dress.

Mallory puffed up angrily. Her death glare would put a lesser duck in his place, but Duke simple shuffled out of her reach. Her hazel-green eyes returned to the dress and with a final, exasperated huff, she slammed balled fists on the countertop. "Listen, lady! I didn't tailor anything! So, are you gonna take these or not?!"

"WHOA!" Duke finally stepped in as the old woman backed away from the register. He placed himself between the elderly woman and the angry redhead. "Please fo'give my friend, ma'am. She's just been under a lot of stress," he smiled sweetly at her. The grey duck glanced back at his teammate before returning his attention to the elderly human. "So, you say this is tailored?" he clearing his throat pointing at the dress in question.

The old woman glared at Mallory for a second before settling her attention on the other duck. "Yes," she adjusted her glasses. "Around the bust."

Duke pulled the dress inside-out and inspected it. "Geez, Mal!" he winced at the abysmal needlework on the dress. "If ya needed ta tailor this, ya could 'ave asked! I could've done a better job blin'folded!"

"What are you talking about?" she growled.

Duke pointed out the section of fabric in question. At first glance, it looked normal, just like the rest of it. Upon closer inspection, she could see that a section of the seam didn't match the rest of the garment. It looked like there had been a small section of fabric cut out before being re-stitched together, and only on one side. She reached out to take a hold of the dress, her eyes burning into it. "What the hell..?"

Duke pulled out another shirt from one of the boxes and noticed the same thing had been done on it in about the same area. A pair of jeans had the same awkward stitching running along a small portion of the left hip. One by one, each article of clothing showed the same tampering.

"NOSEDIVE!" Mallory suddenly yelled, startling the other two.

Duke quickly regained his composure. "I don't think Nosedive could 'ave done this," he looked down at the shirt in his hands. The stitching would put any tailor to shame, but it was still intricate and clean looking. Whoever did this had taken time to make sure that the stitching resembled the rest of the seams at first glance. Did Nosedive really have the patients to sit through something this elaborate?

"I am going to pluck every last feather off that scrawny chick when I get my hands on him!" She was seething now. She began to storm out of the building, her mind set on the single objective.

Duke trailed after her, knowing he wouldn't be able to stop her at the present moment. He turned to glance at the old woman momentarily. "Cut 'hem up and sell 'hem as rags," he told the confused old woman as he reached the door. "They're all yours, ma'am," he waved before exiting and racing to catch up to his teammate.

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><p>AN:Nosedive has other talents other then being silly all the time!


	5. A Bold New Look

**Disclaimer: **Standard disclaimer, I don't own Mighty Ducks Animated Series or any of the characters.

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><p><strong><em>Chapter 5:<em>**  
><em>A Bold New Look<em>

Mookie's amazement only grew as she stepped into Nosedive's room, the door softly closing behind them. Even though she and Thrash were good friends with the alien duck, they weren't allowed into the secret base under the sports arena. Nosedive had mentioned something about how his brother didn't want to make the base known to humans. Something about he didn't even like Phil having access to it. Unfortunately for the crime fighting leader, Philip Percival Palmfeather was the owner of the Arrowhead Pond and the property it sat on, thus, he had every right to have access to the underground base.

The base was bigger than she had imagined from Nosedive's descriptions, and these rooms were spacious. There was even a little kitchenette and living room area with the biggest TV she had ever laid eyes on. It was no wonder they were living under the arena. She wouldn't mind living down here either.

"Mookie?" Nosedive questioned softly.

The young woman's eyes darted back to her feathered friend. Before she could ask to see the damage done, Nosedive pulled the beanie off his head, allowing his shoulder length hair to fall out. Her slack jawed expression was enough to tell him that it was worse than he originally thought.

"Dang," she didn't know where to start as she looked Nosedive over. "I think I can fix it. But I'm not sure about the rest of you."

Nosedive's shoulders slumped. "Whatever you can do, girly. We have a game tonight."

Mookie nodded, reaching up and running her hand through his hot pink hair. It was still a little gooey, so the dye hadn't been washed out completely. "We need to, like, wash this out, dude," she informed, tilting his head down so she could see the roots. This was going to be tricky. It looked like he had scrubbed it in pretty good before realizing. "Ya got a bathroom in this little castle of yours?"

Nosedive nodded. "This way," he motioned for her to follow as he led her further into his room.

"So, like, how did this happen?" she questioned as they entered the spacious bathroom. She took notice of a number of hot pink stained towels on the floor and wondered just how long he'd tried to fix this before calling her. She set her backpack down next to the sink, unzipping it and taking her supplies out.

"I think Mallory put hair dye in my shampoo," he pointed at a pink stained bottle sitting in the sink. Surprisingly, she hadn't ratted him out to his brother about her altered clothes. She did, however, force him to take her shopping for new clothes in exchange for her silence. After a grueling weekend of shopping he was left penniless and had thought that had been the end of it. Boy, was he so very wrong.

Mookie giggled. "Dude, that sounds like something you would do!" she lined up a number of hair dye boxes.

"That's low hanging fruit, girly," he answered taking a seat on the toilet. "That said, she totally beat me to the punch. But I was thinking of turning her hair a bright green."

Mookie laughed. "She would have totally blown her lid, dude! It would have been, like, the perfect prank!"

"I know, right!" his eyes settled on the boxes set on the counter as she fished for something else in her beat-up backpack. "Hey, Mook, my hair's blond, not hot pink."

The young woman stopped, looking down at the last boxes she had set out. She had brought along a few boxes of the hot pink color she used for her stylish hair. "Dive, I can't get you back to blond tonight. I'd have to, like, bleach your hair. And that'll take hours, maybe even days!"

"You said you could!"

"When you said pink, I thought you were talking about, like, a rosy pink. Not hot pink you could spot from space! And I've only got, like, half a bottle of hair bleach."

"UGG!" he growled utterly frustrated.

"If you want, we can try and get your hair to a dusty rose color."

"How long am I gonna have hot pink hair!?"

"Like, just a few days. We just need to bleach it and see what happens," The two remained silent, Mookie worriedly looking at her friend while Nosedive continued to sulk. "What are you gonna do about the pink feathers on, like, your face and shoulders, dude?" she finally broached the topic as she eyed him.

"Pluck them out," he muttered unhappily, arms crossed as he slouched.

Mookie wondered if he was joking or not. Either way, she decided to give him some hope. "I think we bleach the feathers. They're not as fluorescent as your head."

Nosedive hesitated, his foot nervously twitching as he thought that situation over. He looked down at a rosy pink patch on his arm and finally shook his head. "I don't think that's a good idea. I don't know what that'll do to my feathers. The soap I got from the arena's utility closet irritate me."

"Dive, that was probably industrial or something. Anyways, what's the plan?" Mookie leaned onto the counter, watching the alien duck carefully.

Nosedive looked up at her pleadingly, but remained silent.

"Dude, just own it!" Mookie stood straight, taking a box of hair dye in her hands. The now hot pink haired alien glanced up at his friend suspiciously. "Mallory totally expects you to be all embarrassed and mad and stuff about having pink hair, right? So why not shove it back in her face and, like, rock the hot pink? She'll totally get mad seeing that it doesn't bother you!"

Nosedive remained silent for a long time, digesting this new outlook on life.

"You ain't getting back to blond tonight," Mookie added.

Nosedive frowned.

"Rock the hot pink, dude!" Mookie lifted the hot pink hair dye triumphantly. "If anyone can, you can totally do it!"

A long silence followed, neither saying a word. Finally, Nosedive got that trademark, mischievous grin of his. "Let's do it!"

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><p>AN: This was actually the first chapter that I wrote for this story. I love it! And I hope you love it as well!


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